Hello, folks!
I have decided to start a blog - mostly as an outlet for some of my adventures and laments while training to be a midwife, but also as a journal of sorts to track the transition from doula to midwife. As an introductory post, I wanted to talk a bit about why I became a doula in the first place, and why I decided to continue my education and pursue midwifery.
First off, let's clarify what the difference between a doula and a midwife is. Doulas care for families by offering emotional, physical, and mental support. This looks like massage, coaching, encouragement, etc. Additioanlly, many doulas may advocate for their clients if the care they have requested is not being delivered. Midwives, on the other hand, care for the medical needs of moms and babes. They make sure that both mom and babe are both in good health.
My goal as a doula was to help families learn about their bodies, reconnect to the age old tradition of giving birth, and teach them skills that could be passed down to their daughters. Growing up, I was taught all about birth and how exciting and incredible it was. As I reached maturity, I realized that this was not the reality for most of my peers - many of them were scared, didn't want to have kids, or were considering opting for a C section. I was quite saddened to hear this, and wanted to have more conversations about it and encourage them.
When I was a young girl of about 10, all I wanted to do was be a wife and mother. I dreamed of having my own kids, and especially of giving birth to them. I would play house and what not, but I would also sometimes picture what my own birth might be like, and it was always at home with someone that was calm, and surrounded by people I cared about. I lived in small towns for most of my life, and so I often pictured what it would be like to give birth alone, as I didn't want to give birth in the hospital, but there were no midwives where I lived.
When I was 18, my sister in law was pregnant with my first niece, and we watched lots of birth videos together. I was fascinated! I was at the hopsital when she gave birth (in the waiting room), and I could hear some of the things that were going on, and even at that young age, I knew she was not receiving good care. I was sad and angry that she wasn't being encouraged or supported by her care provider. A year or two later, I heard about doulas, and then I started to consider midwifery. I wasn't sure if midwifery would be a good fit for me, so I decided instead to become a doula and see if working with women and their families in the birth realm was a good fit for me. it was! I loved it. I was working full time with teens at the time, but any time I got to attend a birth, I found it so energizing. I continued to work part time as a doula for about 7 years, all the time considering midwifery in the back of my mind, but never quite feeling ready to take the leap.
In 2023, I had a medical emergency with a client that scared me, and I decided I was ready to take on the medical side of things. I applied for midwifery school a couple months later, praying that if this was the Lord's will for my life, that He would open a door. Months went by and I didn't hear anything, so I assumed I wasn't getting in. In March of 2024, I decided that I was going to settle down in Saskatoon and put aside the idea of midwifery. I started preparing to plant a garden, began making plans for the fall, and then the next day, my acceptance letter arrived! I was completely surprised, and the next emotions were a sense of dread and grief. I had just decided to be okay with not getting in, and had been looking forward to the future. But alas, the Lord had opened a door, and so I decided to change my plans and move to Calgary. I packed my things, said goodbye to my friends, and moved home for the summer to save money for school.
Over the next few months, I moved between excitement, fear, disbelief, doubt, etc. The idea of moving to Calgary was really difficult for me, as it was the first place I would ever live in without a close friend or family member. I cried a lot over the summer, fearing what this season would look like and what it would mean. Would I be able to make friends again? How would I pay for school? If I became a midwife, would that mean I wouldn't become a wife and mother? When would I have time to date? Would it even make sense to get married and have kids while being a midwife? I wrestled with these things and more, but ultimately trusted that God would show me the way in all of it. My little brain usually can't understand his plans :P. I have determined for the time being to train to be a midwife, as participating in birth brings me great joy, and I want to serve the Lord by helping families bring their kidlets into the world.
And that all brought me to this moment! God is good, I am now starting my second semester of the program, and it has been wild! Stay tuned for more stories of life as a first year student midwife!
ความคิดเห็น